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Original Blog Post
Original text:
“Five Relationship Myths That Refuse to Go Away”
Izvorni sadržaj: Five Relationship Myths That Refuse to Go Away
Izvorni sadržaj: Five Relationship Myths That Refuse to Go Away
5 relationship myths that people still believe even though Gottman’s 50 years of research says otherwise.
Est. reading time: 8 min.
For The Gottman Institute’s 30th anniversary, we’re exploring five relationship myths that just won’t quit, and what the research actually says.
After 50 years of relationship research, we know more than ever about what makes love last. Yet some myths refuse to disappear.
You’ve probably heard a few of these myths before. Your parents might have shared them as advice, you may have encountered one during a well-meaning conversation with friends, and movies and media are notorious for perpetuating the most cliché relationship myths.
Over time, these myths become expectations people use to measure their relationships. And when reality doesn’t match the myth, it may feel like something is wrong. But that is far from the truth!
Here are five relationship myths we thought would have been left in the dust by now, and what the research tells us instead:
Myth #1: Happy Couples Don’t Fight
You know that one couple. They never fight, they’re always loved up, and everything just seems easy for them. But you’re only seeing part of their story.
It’s easy to look at a couple who seems happy and assume they never disagree, but conflict is present in every relationship. Even strong, happy couples have different needs, opinions, and perspectives. It’s just part of living with another human!
The difference isn’t whether couples fight, but how they treat each other when they do. The Gottmans call this “fight right”. Healthy conflict leaves room for both partners to speak and be heard. Partners who disagree without using contempt, criticism, defensiveness, or stonewalling are doing it right! They make repairs, accept responsibility, and work to understand each other, even when they disagree.
Myth #2: Never Go to Bed Angry
“Never go to bed angry” may sound like good relationship advice, but it can actually hurt more than help in some cases.
When conflict becomes intense, one or both partners can become flooded. This is when your heart rate rises, your body enters fight or flight mode, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.
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